don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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