I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
