Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
