I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
