you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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