I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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