Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
