oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
