I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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