Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Semen is not good for contacts.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize