he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
