Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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