okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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