I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
