she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
