I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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