if you like me you must not know who I am
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
