i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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