you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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