Your face is a jimmy john
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
