Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
