I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I need water and some morals
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
