I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Someone came in the potted fern
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
