So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
