I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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