Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
