Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
