Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
That's intense
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize