Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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