That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
