I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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