where am i from again
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
