lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Randomize
