Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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