so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
