Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
