I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
jump out the window naked night went bad
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
