I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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