I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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