Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
