stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i think i just lost a toe
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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