I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
