Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
