What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
