Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
