it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
