you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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