Sacagawea was the original milf.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize