i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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