Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
