No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
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