I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You're a waste of cheezeits
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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