I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
