i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
