Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
