Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
