please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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