Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
