one two three fourrrrnication!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
